book_clips

The book contains:
-a very “sincere” acknowledgement…
-the true qualifications for Keith to be chosen as Author…
-the “officially sanctioned vatican scale”…
-151 catholic liners, 40 with illustrations…

Excerpt from “what qualifies the author as an eminent authority” on Catholicism…

…it became imperative that I find the real Catholics who could still make a difference in this world…
The Catholics who know what it’s like to throw Holy Water over their right shoulder for good luck; the Catholics who want to be confirmed a second time because they like the feel of an old man’s hand across their face; the Catholics who still believe little boys look great when dressed in cassocks…
Yes, I know you’re out there… and this book will help us find you and each other…”

Excerpt from the “officially sanctioned vatican scale” which ranks the extent or non-extent of one’s Catholicism…

0	You’re really Jewish, but enjoy laughing at Catholics…
1-20	You believe Catholics are a bunch of over-pious zealots who should get a life…
21-50	Your dad was non-Catholic and you still suffer with that half-breed mentality…

Excerpts from the main body of the book...

you know you’re a catholic if…	you think K-Y Jelly should be kept in the refrigerator after it’s been opened…

you know you’re a catholic if…	you got more out of Mass when it was said in Latin…

you know you’re a catholic if…	even in the 1960’s, you were still afraid of getting stoned…

you know you’re a catholic if…	the “bonds” in your grandmother’s safe deposit box turn out to be Holy cards…

you know you’re a catholic if…	you understand the difference between right and wrong, but sometimes don’t care…

you know you’re a catholic if…	you ever scourged the neighborhood kids you didn’t like…

Click below to see featured animations from the book:
Bishop Dog Lady Psycho Therapy